My husband has been reading the best-seller "How We Decide," by Jonah Lehrer, a book about decision making. Over breakfast, he told me why, according to scientific research, there is a gene which causes some people to make the same poor choices over and over again, not learning from their mistakes.
I don't think I fall into that unfortunate category, but I got to thinking about some of the choices I've made in my life, and why I made them. Some were clearly rational decisions, such as deciding to get a teaching credential after a year of poorly-paid, boring office work. On the other hand, leaving teaching after two years, falls into the emotional category. After my first year of teaching English in an inner-city high school in L.A. I took my first trip to Europe with two girl friends. We did it up right -- Eurail passes, numerous countries from England, to Portugal, Spain, France, Italy, Austria and Germany. Adventures galore.
In the fall, I returned to work and looked around the teachers' lounge at the veterans. They were worn-down, discouraged, complaining constantly about the students, principal, and parents! Did I want to be one of them in thirty years? Europe had shown me there was a big, exciting world outside of the teachers' lounge. I finished the year and quit.
Which decision was smarter? I believe both were good. I had the credentials and eventually became a substitute (no homework to correct) and knew I would always have something to fall back on. Quitting allowed me to try my wings at more adventurous jobs, such as the assistant to the general manager of the play, "Hair."
Looking back, most of my important decisions seem to have worked out for the best, however, there is one I wonder about. During that exploratory period I was offered a low level position in a literary agency. I was an English major; loved reading. I turned it down because the commute seemed inconvenient. Hard to believe in retrospect. I cannot help wondering what my life would have been had I taken the job. Would I have become a respected literary agent? I think I'd have made a good one. Maybe one of the good things about life is not knowing how things might have been.
I wonder if others also wonder about the fork in the road and consequences of the road not taken.
Fran
What they're saying about our new book:
"The elderly have quite a bit of wisdom, and often you'll get it whether you want it or not. "Feeding Mrs. Moskowitz & The Caregiver" is a pair of two novellas focusing on the topic of the elderly and their interactions with the people around them. 'Feeding Mrs. Moskowitz' is the story of the titular elderly lady and her encounters with a girl rapidly approaching middle age. 'The Caregiver' tells the tale of a caregiver and her job at an assisted living facility. "Feeding Mrs. Moskowitz & The Caregiver" is an enticing read that shouldn't be missed."
-- Midwest Review of Books
"The novellas are authentic, filled with believable characters and situations that resonate with our own life experiences. The stories are funny and poignant at the same time, teaching those who have not thought much about the aging process in the best way possible by fascinating and amazing us."
-- Anne M. Wyatt-Brown
"As someone who was the caregiver for two aging parents, both of whom lived into their nineties, I found Feeding Mrs. Moskowitz and The Caregiver: Two Stories by Barbara Pokras and Fran Yariv a delightful experience. It is a candid and humorous look at aging. .....It is well work reading whether one is a caregiver or not. This is a slice of life worth visiting."
-- Alan Caruba, Bookviews
"Caring for aging parents is one of the most common experiences sisters share, but few can transform their responsibility into bittersweet words of wisdom the way the Pokras sisters, Fran and Barbara, have done. This book, with its tender, funny, and revealing insights into the world of the elderly, is a must-read for every caretaker." -- Carol Saline, author of The New York Times bestseller, "Sisters"
"The novellas are beautiful little parables that are just not meant for caregivers or for the children of the elderly, bur for everyone -- as most of us will, eventually, take similar journeys to those taken by the residents of Sunset Hills, in one form or another." -- John McDonald, New York Journal of Books, award-winning novelist, screenwriter, playwright and graphic novel adaptor of the works of William Shakespeare.
-- Midwest Review of Books
"The novellas are authentic, filled with believable characters and situations that resonate with our own life experiences. The stories are funny and poignant at the same time, teaching those who have not thought much about the aging process in the best way possible by fascinating and amazing us."
-- Anne M. Wyatt-Brown
"As someone who was the caregiver for two aging parents, both of whom lived into their nineties, I found Feeding Mrs. Moskowitz and The Caregiver: Two Stories by Barbara Pokras and Fran Yariv a delightful experience. It is a candid and humorous look at aging. .....It is well work reading whether one is a caregiver or not. This is a slice of life worth visiting."
-- Alan Caruba, Bookviews
"Caring for aging parents is one of the most common experiences sisters share, but few can transform their responsibility into bittersweet words of wisdom the way the Pokras sisters, Fran and Barbara, have done. This book, with its tender, funny, and revealing insights into the world of the elderly, is a must-read for every caretaker." -- Carol Saline, author of The New York Times bestseller, "Sisters"
"The novellas are beautiful little parables that are just not meant for caregivers or for the children of the elderly, bur for everyone -- as most of us will, eventually, take similar journeys to those taken by the residents of Sunset Hills, in one form or another." -- John McDonald, New York Journal of Books, award-winning novelist, screenwriter, playwright and graphic novel adaptor of the works of William Shakespeare.
Monday, May 3, 2010
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Some of our favorites to share:
- Barbara's favorite movies: "Precious" "Inglorius Bastards" "The Orange Thief" (never released theatrically), anything by Frederick Wiseman, and "Stop Making Sense" (I worked on this!)
- Fran likes "ALL ABOUT EVE" with Bette Davis
- Another of Fran's favorites -- FIELDWORK by Mischa Berlinski
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